Irreplaceable
by citigirl13
Summary: Damon is dying, so what better time than to share a few things with Elena?  DISCLAIMER: I OWN NOTHING!


**Okay, so here is another one-shot! I'm being inspired so much – obviously the writers of VD have done their job! This season was even better than the first one, which naturally was EPIC and I am watching as we speak. I'm in major VD withdrawal since I'm at uni and can't watch it – besides, I've decided that it'll be much better if I watch the last three VD episodes after I've finished. Plus then I won't have to wait a week in suspense! **

**I guess you can all gather that I haven't watched the recent episodes, but even I've heard the whispers that have been going round – and had a sneaky look at the promos on YouTube. So I wanted to write this story – I was burning the midnight oil. I thought I should treat myself to posting this story, as I've just done an exam and could use to the stress relief – and good reviews (hint ;-) ) **

**So two things: first I would like to dedicate this story to the deviousdramaqueen on YouTube and her new video **_**Damon and Elena; Without You. **_**It is quite honestly one of the best vids I've seen, I couldn't help but watch it without taking my eyes off it. Check it out – for all you Delena lovers, it will blow your mind:** **.com/watch?v=VepzQwDZAtU **

**Secondly, I would just like to say that a few points in this story had me emotional – I'm sure you'll be able to tell which ones. I hope you enjoy it! **

**xXx **

**Irreplaceable **

"Tell me a story."

Damon smirks in the darkness. "What type of story?"

"Any story." Elena is perched on the window-sill. She has left the room in darkness, using the moonlight to write in her journal. Damon requested it, claiming that the light hurt his eyes.

Personally Elena believes he doesn't want her to see him in pain; he can make grimaces without her seeing. Elena isn't sure she minds; through all the troubles with the tomb vampires and the Originals, all the miracles that have happened, she got it in her head that Damon could do anything, survive anything.

Maybe that's why it hurts so much.

"One time in Italy – Riva, Lake Garda, I was walking through the streets and I came by this little pizza place. It was half deserted, but there were a few people – an old man playing with cards, a few girls giggling over the bra, an old woman with a sour expression. But the man who owned the place, he talked to me. He heard my American accent and was really surprised when he found out I was Italian. He then informed me that I should learn how to cook like an Italian, and he taught me how. We made all sorts of pastas, fresh pizza dough... It's one of my favourite memories." He grins. "I liked the Italians. Even now they have a real sense of pride for their country; completely individual."

Elena writes it down, wincing at the way he said _liked_.

"Tell me a secret."

He grins, already knowing she'll be surprised. "I love the Russian ballet."

Elena nearly falls off her seat. "Seriously?"

"Yep. Before the revolution and the war I used to go there frequently. No one does the ballet better than the Russians." He closes his eyes and imagines sitting in a box seat, a beautiful compelled Russian girl clinging to his arm, in his best tux, watching the dancers leap in the air. The music made him want to move with it, made him wish he could dance like they could. He could almost make himself believe it, if not for the twinge of pain in his arm.

"What's the worst thing that you ever saw? The worst memory you have?"

He hasn't told anyone this before – hasn't _wanted _to. Trust Elena to ask him this. But he's dying; if he doesn't now he never will.

"I was in the war – the Second World War. In some twisted way I was still searching for my father's approval. If I went in this war I would make up for leaving the Civil War.

"I ended up being one of the soldiers that invaded... I was one of the soldiers that took over a Concentration Camp."

Elena holds her breath; a lump rising in her throat. She knows, as everyone knows.

"Of all the things I've seen... The Civil War, being a vampire... I've never seen anything as bad as what I saw then. Those poor people." He closes his eyes, then opens them quickly. He doesn't want to picture it, but the images are already flashing in front of his eyes. The memories returning. "So thin, so cold. Some were injured, some were coughing, close to death. But they all stared at us. Not like we were heroes. Once they knew who we were, they were grateful, happier. But before... They were _terrified _of us; scared that we were going to hurt them again. They were used to such cruelty, such violence. Many of them cried when we told them we were going to take them away, that they weren't going to be hurt anymore. They weren't used to the kindness." He breaks off, not being able to continue. Elena waits patiently for him, and after a few minutes he eventually manages to find the words. "I wasn't even hungry. These people were weak, I could have easily picked one of them off and no one would be the wiser. But I _couldn't_. For once I didn't want to feed, I didn't want to follow my instinct. I just wanted to help them.

"Remember when you found out we were vampires? What we – okay, _I'd _done. How shocked you were? Well nothing – _nothing _that I have done, that any vampire has done, can compare to that. Humans did that Elena. Humans, the thing that you and everyone else holds so proud, showing how much better it is. That's all very good, but you forget: while humanity is great, it's also cruel. It can do such bad things, crueller than any monster, and there isn't even an excuse. "

Eyes tearing, Elena puts her pen down. "Stop. Please stop-"

"Okay," Damon says, gently. He doesn't want to push Elena, who he knows is on the knife edge of hysterical.

"Not _okay_ Damon. None of this is okay. I know I wanted this, but it's too much, writing all your memories down. We can't act as if – like-"

"Like I'm going to die?" He doesn't bother to sit up; the wolf bite is draining all of his energy. "We have to consider – you have to see that it might be a possibility."

"_No_. Stefan will find a cure, we just have to wait."

"I may not have much longer," he whispers, and it's painful to hear the hitch in her breathing. He feels like a traitor, telling a child that Santa Klaus doesn't exist.

"Elena, you don't have to write anymore. You can stop if you want; you don't even need to show anyone else this. I just needed _you _to know these things."

"_Why?_" she wants to yell it, but can only manage a throaty whisper.

"I've wanted to tell you all this for a long time," he murmurs. "I want to tell you everything: like how I first saw the ocean in 1874; that my favourite ice cream flavour is banana; that I have never, ever hurt a child."

That's all she needs to hear, the proof right here that Damon Salvatore always had a heart. She collapses beside him, sobbing in his shoulder. With his good arm he rubs her back, soothing her.

"_Don't go_." Her hysterical cries are slightly muted because her head is buried in his shoulder. Nonetheless he voice is loud enough, shrill – scared. "_Please_. I've lost Jenna and John and my parents and _I can't lose you too_."

"I know," he murmurs, not really knowing what else to say.

"What will I do without you? Who will annoy me? Who will fight with me, no one else fights with me. Who will protect me?"

"You'll have Stefan," Damon says, thought it almost kills him to admit it.

She lifts her head; tears are spilling down her cheeks, she has dark circles under her eyes and her hair is a mess – and Damon knows that she has ruined him for anyone else because he helplessly thinks _she is so beautiful_.

"But Stefan's not _you." _

It's not a declaration of love, not like he's pictured in his dreams. But it's almost as good as. She has basically told him that the world won't look the same without him; that she'll go every day remembering she will never hear his voice whisper in her ear, his chuckle, see the light in his smile.

That to her, he is irreplaceable.

If that's all he gets, he'll die a happy man.

**xXx **

**P.S. If they kill Damon off, I am NOT watching the show. I hate being one of those people that boycotts a show just because her favourite character is dead, but I don't think I could watch Elena and Stefan be together knowing that Elena lost her soul mate a long time ago. **


End file.
